‘Vladimir Putin’s c*ck holster’: Stephen Colbert bombards Trump in a masterpiece opening

Late night comedian Stephen Colbert spoke directly to President Trump following his outlandish remarks in interviews this past weekend.

The premise of Colbert’s monologue — titled “Stephen Says Everything Journalists Wish They Could — was that because beltway journalists are too polite and dignified to tell President Trump what they really think of him, he’d do it in their stead. He began by airing a clip of Donald Trump telling John Dickerson, host of CBS’ Face the Nation, that he sometimes refers to “fake media” programs like his in derogatory terms.

“I love your show, I call it ‘Deface the Nation,'” Trump said to Dickerson’s face.

“Donald Trump, John Dickerson is a fair-minded journalist and one of the most competent people who will ever walk into your office, and you treat him like that?” Colbert said of his fellow CBS cohort, following the clip. “Now, John Dickerson has way too much dignity to trade insults with the President of the United States to his face. But I, sir, am no John Dickerson.”

“When you insult one member of the CBS family, you insult us all. Bazinga,” Colbert said.

Colbert then proceeded to go into a comedic tirade, calling Trump various names and making numerous jokes at the president’s expense on behalf of Dickerson and other journalists Trump has insulted in the past.

“Mr. Trump, your presidency? I love your presidency, I call it ‘Disgrace the Nation.’” Colbert said at the start of his monologue. “You’re not the POTUS, you’re the BLOTUS. You’re the glutton with a button. You’re a regular ‘Gorge’ Washington. You’re the presi-dunce. But you’re turning into a real prictator.”

“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free rogaine. You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign language gorilla who got hit in the head,” Colbert continued.

“In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock-holster,” he added, to raucous cheers and applause from the audience.

Watch the epic monologue below, courtesy of The Late Show’s official Twitter account:


Kevin Wallace is a journalist with five years’ experience in print and digital media, and covers politics, media, and culture for the Resistance Report. He lives in Tallahassee, Florida.