NASA denies claim that the agency operates a child slave colony on Mars

Alex Jones’ conspiracy theory broadcast just forced NASA to officially state that they are not running a child sex slave colony on Mars (seriously).

Continuing his tradition of broadcasting outrageous, unsubstantiated claims, Jones welcomed Robert David Steele onto his program to discuss NASA’s insidious plans to kidnap children and send them to Mars to be raped, enslaved, and harvested for body parts.

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride,” said Steele. “So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony… Pedophilia does not stop with sodomizing children. It goes straight into terrorizing them to adrenalize their blood and then murdering them. It also includes murdering them so that they can have their bone marrow harvested as well as body parts.”

Jones egged Steele on, saying “Look, I know that 90 percent of the NASA missions are secret and I’ve been told by high level NASA engineers that you have no idea. There is so much stuff going on… clearly they don’t want us looking into what is happening” because “every time probes go over they turn them off.”

When asked for comment by The Daily Beast, a spokesperson for NASA’s Mars exploration wing called it a “stupid rumor,” tersely saying “There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are. But there are no humans.”

Steele has peddled conspiracy theories about fictional child sex rings before. Last year, he publicized an accusation that Hillary Clinton’s campaign was running a pedophilia ring under a D.C. pizzeria. His source? A random Reddit user who said that John Podesta’s leaked emails proved the ring’s existence if one replaced the word “pizza” with “little boy.”

A man who watches his program later shot up the pizzeria with an assault rifle to “shine some light” on the story.

President Trump is famously an admirer of Jones, telling him in an interview “your reputation is amazing,” and promising “I will not let you down.” Recently, Jones lost a custody battle with his ex-wife, during which he claimed that his on-air personality was just a “performance.”

Nathan Wellman is a Los Angeles-based journalist, author, and playwright. Follow him on Twitter: @LightningWOW